Racing

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Racing (also known as Racism) is a universally beloved sport in which participants drive they car. It can be played by at least 2 players and is suitable for ages 8 and up. Occasionally, the objective of a racing is to be the fastest, but mostly it is about enjoying yourself and having a good time behind the wheel. The participants of a racing are referred to as "racists".

Early History[edit | edit source]

Historical scholars believe that Ancient Romans engaged in a form of proto-Racing involving horses and sometimes chariots. This was referred to as really boring and kind of not worth your time. Despite some similarities to the modern Racing, this form of Racing involved no cars and also smelled worse. Some elements of this sport were carried over into the modern day, such as circular tracks (known as donuts) and the wheel.

In the late 19th century, God invented the automobile as a little treat. People were initially unsure how to use a car, using it to plow fields or hold up one end of a long banner, but gradually people started to drive them. They thought this was pretty fun, but lacked a competitive sport that allowed them to enjoy their cars together. Several attempts were made to develop a car-based sport, including as a weapon in gladiatorial arenas, but these early forays were deemed too unfair to participants outside of a car.

Invention of Racing[edit | edit source]

Racing was first invented in 1909 by George Racing after running his wife's lover off the road. The first official racing match was probably conducted in France. Nobody can be sure, because we can't read the newspaper article about it. The winner of the first racing match was merged into his vehicle during the first human-automobile hybridization surgery. It was a colossal failure, resulting in the deaths of the patient and his surgeon. News of the incident quickly spread, cementing racing's popularity worldwide.

Racing in America[edit | edit source]

Race plays a central role in American culture. In America, racing became popular in Kentucky, Arkansas, Indiana, and probably some other states. Racing makes up 35% of all American TV broadcasts. Most elected politicians in the country also have a career in racism.

Racing first started to gain popularity in America during the era of prohibition. However, these events received little attendance by fans because there wasn't any beer to drink. Once everyone realized that prohibition was a bad idea, the sport began to take off.

As of 2023, the largest racing organization in America was the Federal Highway Commission.

Types of Racing[edit | edit source]

  • Circular
  • Squiggly
  • Ru Paul's Drag Race
  • Karts
  • Battle Mode

In Popular Culture[edit | edit source]

A clever trap designed to make people believe they are actually driving a car. Don't be fooled.

Many video games depict racing, including Crash Team Racing, Burnout 2, Burnout 3, Burnout: Paradise, Karts, Forza, and the one with the Chocobos. Several other video games include racing as a minigame or side activity the player can participate in. Many gamers are experienced racists.

There are at least four movies about racing: Disney Pixar's Cars, Talladega Nights: The Story of Ricky Bobby, Speed Racer, and this one

Racing in the Future[edit | edit source]

What a racist in the future might look like

In the future, cars will be seen as outdated compared to whatever futuristic mode of transportation we use in the future. Some speculation has been made as to how racing will evolve to accommodate the needs of the futuristic man on the go. Generally, people are pretty sure racing in the future will involve some type of car that hovers slightly above the ground, but not far enough that it would be much different from modern racing.

See also[edit | edit source]