Gold
Gold is a high value, relatively common metal. It is found as native ore underground in igneous and sedimentary layers. You can also find it on rich people's corpses. Despite the name, most gold is not very old.
Properties
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Gold is shiny and and gold colored. Sometimes it is round but sometimes they make it into other shapes. It's not brass. You can lick gold but you won't like it. Gold does not make any sound as far as we know. Gold is so soft that if you push your thumb into it you'll ruin it forever and mom will get mad.
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You can make gold into coins and people will think you're a medieval peasant. I tried this once and some guy kept following me trying to get me to read his tweets and eat doritos. He was attacked by feral hogs and dismembered while I watched. That's the power of gold, buckaroo.
Things you can do with gold
Popular culture
Gold is a prominent feature of many popular cultures including America and Nazi Germany. I think there is Gold in the movie Pulp Fiction. Homer Simpson from the Simpsons is made of gold. There is a pokemon that is made of gold.
In the 1800s a Portuguese ship "La Esperanza" was travelling across the Pacific Ocean carrying hundreds of tons of gold when it was attacked by pirates off the coast of Hawaii. The pirates buried the gold somewhere in the islands, and the treasure was presumed lost until it was discovered by the legendary yakuza patriarch 24 Hour Cinderella Guy.
Some people say their posts are gold, but they are wrong. I checked. That's letters.
Controversy
Why are you still reading this page when you could be mining gold?