Sufjan Stevens
| Sufjan Stevens | |
|---|---|
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| |
| *sobbing noises* | |
| STATUS: ALIVE | |
| Years active | Early 1800s-present |
| Occupation | Music Man |
| Fighting style | Net & Trident |
| Favorite food | Cardboard |
| Major arcana | NONE he doesn't get one |
| Charisma | 13 (+1) |
| Drops | Tiny Guitar |
Sufjan Stevens is a really small man. His first album was in the early 1800s when he was just a small wife to a much larger man but that didn't really pan out for him. Now he lives like normal except he is basically one of the Borrowers like Amelie is. He currently writes music about either his mom, God, or having a gay little boycrush like a little gay boy. It's really awesome.
He has currently made an album about every state in the country except for 48 of them. Currently he did Illinois and then he did Michigan, since he is doing all the states in order from absolute worst to best. That is also why he hasn't made another state album in like 10 years because all of the states are really bad. IF he does another album he will have to do it about Puerto Rico or maybe Guam.
His Problems[edit | edit source]
The big problem with Sufjan Stevens is that he is a very scared little boy all the time even if you are careful. This causes him to run away into the walls of your house and you'll hear him singing softly into his little microphone made out of a bobby pin and a little tiny ball of dryer lint and some of his tears. He'll also cry for a little while but he CAN BE COERCED BACK OUT with a small snack that is thin and small with a high glycemic index such as a coconut flake. For more information please check out the enclosed instruction book.